Double Standards On Women

This quote is by Emily Ratajkowski: “I’m tired of having to consider how I might be perceived by men if I wear a short skirt or post a sexy instagram- I want to do what I want to do.”

I know so many of us, if not all of us, feel like we must really consider our outfits before leaving the house; we imagine how we might be perceived by the people outside our homes or we might have second thoughts before posting a photo that might be a bit more revealing that usual. We constantly have to think about how people will judge us on our appearances.

Will they think I don’t have the body for this, will they want me to cover up more, will they think I am being too provocative?

So many thoughts we go through end up becoming negative and turn into self doubt. We all have different life experiences that shape how we view our bodies. We might be more open about ourselves or more conservative. Either way we have the choice to decide how we want to show it. Do what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Many people say be comfortable in your own skin, but you have to find the ways to do that and that might mean having to become uncomfortable for a time. You might not even feel confident at first. Let’s say you are very self conscious about your stomach area and you want to grow from that and accept yourself. What you might do is start wearing some crop tops or tighter fitting clothing or go to the beach with a two piece on. This might be very uncomfortable for a time until you find ways that you feel confident and comfortable.

There are always going to be opinions about what you should or shouldn’t do, but remember you are not asking people for permission on how you should view yourself. Next time you feel some self doubt creeping in, ask yourself what you want to do. From there, you just gotta do what makes you happy and empowered. If you feel good about what you are doing and how you view yourself, then the people who may have something negative to say about it will have no power over you or your future.

Visit my Instagram @evelyne_positivelyconfident to see a bit more of my story and who I am. On some post I share my struggles with my body confidence and how I view myself. So, I hope it is refreshing for you!

Don’t forget to follow if you read anything you liked.

Remember, you are in control of how you view yourself, so let it be beautiful.

Love, Evelyn.

Editor: Samantha McDonald

Dealing with Sexism

The last two posts have been about our appearances and creating healthy relationships with the way we view ourselves. Adding to that, I also wrote about how often we become offended by men and certain comments they feel compelled to say. So, this post is going to be about sexism, which is a real thing in our day to day lives. Whether we are shopping, working, or eating at a restaurant we can become subjected to it.

Sexism is when a person does or says something inappropriately, stereotypes or discriminates you based on your gender.

I think it is very important to have a good understanding of ourselves when it comes to handling a situation where we feel uncomfortable or unvalued. Many people try to bury this type of situation. No one likes to feel wrong and, often, when we decide to speak up about something like sexism, it can be quite frustrating because many people just refute that it’s happening. So, how do we deal with certain people who are disrespectful and inconsiderate? How many of us have been subjected to name calling and even being touched when it wasn’t warranted? I know it is a lot of us. How do we deal with it in a respectable and graceful manner without seeming like the “scary hardcore feminist”?* Every situation is different and I can’t exactly tell you what to do in every situation. I do know it is important to pick your fights.

We can’t control what every person says or does.

Even though it is annoying and disrespectful, we must also learn to let some things go. Although,there are certain situations where you should speak up and you are to determine that. I know we all have our fair share of stories and so do I. Some I am quite proud off and others not so much. I take it as a learning experience. I have learned how to treat myself with respect and show others how I wish to be treated. I don’t allow anyone to undermine who I am and what I am capable of just because I am a woman. You are entitled to your feelings, your opinions and YOUR BODY! Don’t let anyone makes you feel inferior because of your gender. If you feel uncomfortable you are completely in the right to say or do something about it.

We are worth fighting for.

You are in control of how you view yourself, so let it be beautiful!

Love, Evelyn.
Editor–Samantha McDonald

*author’s note: this is not so much offensive as it is annoying!!

More than a Pretty Face

Have you ever seen a beautiful woman and immediately assumed that she had an easy life due to her looks? This thinking contributes to the stereotype that if a woman fits the “standards of beauty” she just has an easy life.You may have thought this before: well, if I looked like her I would have so much more success and happiness!
It seems we have shaped our society to base so much about a person by attributing physical appearance to actual success.
We all have a certain perspective about our own looks. We subconsciously compare ourselves to someone we view as more attractive. The question to ask: why are we so set on comparing ourselves to others? When we look at ourselves, we need to recognize that we are MORE than just our appearances. We have a soul, a heart, and a beautiful mind.
Our attitudes toward ourselves and our lives are far more important than the way we look. But, how do we get that out in a world where society only seems to care about looks?
By being the example.
Show people what you appreciate about them instead of only complimenting that person’s appearance. You can compliment someone’s sense of humor or their admirable and ambitious nature. We need to learn not to depend on other people opinions of beauty because it is different for everyone. If we constantly look to others we will find ourselves disappointed and continue to look for validation. You don’t need someone to tell you that you are beautiful. When you wake up in the morning be the first one to acknowledge your beauty. Look in the mirror and believe that you are beautiful and carry that confidence with you.
In the end, you are not just a pretty face or body. You are so much more.
You are in control of how you view yourself, so let it be beautiful.
Check me out on Instagram for some motivation, positivity and my adventures! Don’t forget to follow.
Love, Evelyn
Editor–Samantha McDonald

Beauty Defined

From body scars to long necks to face tattoos, beauty is admired differently in so many parts of the world. In India, decorated skin is seen as beautiful and in Western Africa, a full curvy figure is beauty. With so many different body types, skin types, hair and makeup styles, why do we judge ourselves so harshly? Let’s be honest, we all compare ourselves to the people around us. I do this as well, but I try to focus on bettering myself instead of trying to fit another person’s style or body image. What I have realized through researching and writing this post is that I am way too hard on myself. In a different part of the world, my appearance might seem odd and different, at least not at all what would be considered as beautiful. Here, in my home state, my features might be considered beautiful, or vice versa. We have become so obsessed with idealizing beauty that maybe we haven’t stopped often enough to consider that beauty is universal– it has no limits or standards. We have tried to define beauty with our small perspective of what we think it is and we need to stop. We are hurting ourselves and many other gorgeous men and women who are beautiful for just being alive and who they are! Who are we to stay that their body, skin, hair or features are not ideal. I think it’s time we put a stop to these standards. We are all different and we all do things differently. How we look on the outside should not dictate how others treat us; I know it will difficult especially since the first thing people see is our appearance. That is why our voices should be louder and our actions should scream who we are and what we stand for.

I am not implying we should stop caring about our appearance, that is not what beauty is about—just not caring. We can still do the things we love, like wearing makeup, styling our hair, doing our nails, whatever you feel like doing should not be from a place where you feel out of place or envious. Because you are not out of place! Trust me on that. Beauty has to be and should be about who we are and what we offer as a person.
Be your own definition of beauty. People everywhere have such different ideals. Ranging from dark skin to light, from a curvy figure to a thin one.

Be free to be happy with your beauty.
You are in control of how you view yourself, so let it be beautiful.
Please don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, @eespinoza_positivelyconfident and at http://www.positivelyconfident.com for more posts.
Love, Evelyn
Editor—Samantha McDonald

The Affects of Clothing

Clothing can give others a hint of our personality; through different colors, patterns, and materials, we are able to put together different outfits and give a voice to our personality. Often people can make quick judgments about who they think we are (as I am sure we also are guilty of this). We can’t control what people think when they first see us. First impressions are quite powerful, but what we can do is reflect on ourselves and think about the message we are sending to others through our appearance. Now, I am not implying that you change yourself to fit in or to make other people comfortable, but I want you to make sure what you are wearing correlates with how you feel about yourself and the person you want to become. A lot of time we tend to follow trends, or what our group of friends are wearing, but you should express yourself anyway you want– wear what makes you feel happy and free.

A lot of the time we look at others and their outfits and think, I couldn’t wear that or I wouldn’t look as good as she does wearing that, and that is the kind of thinking that won’t allow you to feel comfortable with yourself. Expressing yourself through your style can be a big confidence boost, allowing you to feel strong, comfortable, and free. Just know you don’t need to follow trends. Express yourself in a way so that when people see you they receive the right hint to who you truly are. The people who accept you for who are will become the friends you need.

Don’t forget to be positive and brave.

Love Evelyn

Edited by Samantha McDonald