Action is the most important factor in any relationship. You might be thinking, I thought communication or patience was the most important, but hear me out. Relationships change and evolve over time. I can see how my relationship with Eric has changed. We have both grown so much and therefore our relationship has also evolved. No relationship is perfect- whether it’s with your partner, a family member or even a friend–your relationship will be flawed because you are flawed. When I write relationship, I want you to place whomever you want. I don’t just mean a significant other but also coworkers, friends or family members. We all have some sort of relationship in our life. Even the loneliest of us have people in our life, yes, they count even if they are very brief acquaintances.
I know it may sound too good to be true or even a bit corny to say that love fixes everything, but when applied with the right course of action–I truly believe that to be true.
Love is an emotion, by itself it doesn’t do much except make us feel really happy, giddy or maybe sad (if you are yearning for someone). Love mixed with action is an avalanche of flavor!!! (that’s a quote from the movie, The Croods!)
When we think about love, we think about how we feel and what we want to do for the other person. Which is amazing! We want to make sure we are expressing our emotions in a way that will be received and possibly reciprocated. I read The 5 Love Languages and it totally changed the way I viewed my relationships. It’s a total eye opener and helped me see how selfish and hard I was with the people I loved. If you haven’t ordered a copy yet, here is a link https://amzn.to/2Um3DUJ. This book will help you not only realize how you want to be loved but how the other people in your life want to feel loved by you.
It’s not just enough to simply say I love you for someone to feel loved. The actions you do for that person will scream louder than any words. This goes for any relationship in your life. If you feel like you are missing something from your relationships then ask yourself if you have been speaking your love language or if you have been displaying the appreciate actions. It’s just like any job or project, the more time and effort you input, the farther along you will get. Obviously humans are a bit more complex but the idea is the same. The more time and effort you add towards your relationship, the stronger it will be. Putting forth action comes from a place of want, a place of love and care. It’s not something that should be forced or for selfish gain.
Don’t get discouraged. It could take some time or some change in habits to show the person how much you truly care about them. This doesn’t mean you are forcing something, this means you are taking the time to learn about this person and willing to show them that you care about their needs and wants.
It can be scary to give your love so freely. But, it doesn’t have to be. When you decide to show that emotion through your actions, it needs to come from a place of unselfishness. You have decided to give this part of you- so own it!! It’s sooo amazing if it’s reciprocated; if not there is still something to gain from it. You decided to share this part of you with nothing in return. You still put yourself out there. This kind of vulnerability is needed. With social media taking over, it is so easy to hide behind our screens. It becomes challenging to know what is real. When we take the time to express ourselves in a kind, sincere way, whether it is to a coworker, a friend, or family member–(despite their response) we become wiser and more confident. People pay attention to these traits, we tend to sense someone who is different or unique. After some time people will take notice and see your changes. This doesn’t mean you should automatically see a change from other’s or expect something in return.
Now, some people are difficult and I’m not suggesting you become a suckup or let people take advantage of you. I’m talking about the relationships that you are willing to invest in. Like any investment, it doesn’t mean you will get something in return. This doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. This is about you becoming the example, for yourself. In order for anything to change in your life, it has to start with you. Yes, this includes relationships! Yes, you may go through all the right actions, with the most wonderful of intentions and still the other person does not reciprocate, then it’s time to take a step back. Listen to what the other person is saying or not saying. It could be that the relationship has come to an end. This is when you decide to either keep trying or simply move on. It’s up to you to decide. Something to keep in mind, in the long run, letting go can be the best thing for you mentally and emotionally.
Love is a pure emotion. It is something to cherish. Not everyone does, but you should. Show people that you accept who they are and that you value them as a person. Not everyone is going to value love the way you do or even be willing to give the time and effort to work on their relationships. You don’t need to worry about these people, deciding to live this way, attracts the kind of people you want in your life (the law of attraction). Eventually the people who share the same values as you will also reciprocate.
There are so many kinds of relationships, each unique. Learning to love people in different ways brings you a wholeness you probably never knew you had.
Remember when you are working on a new relationship or building an old one, keep your actions in mind. What can you do next to express your love and care towards them?
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Until next time,