Welcome to year 2020!!! I can’t believe we have already passed all the holidays and are back to starting January all over again! I learned a lot this past year. I felt like I hit some new lows and taught myself how to get back up and keep trying. Even though it was quite painful, I wouldn’t change it. We all have our journey’s to go through and it is never guaranteed to be a smooth ride- just worth it.
I don’t want to get into too many details about goal settings or new year resolutions because as wonderful and magical as it can be, starting a new year is still simply another day. We don’t need to wait for a new year to make a change or set a new goal. We can decide anytime to do whatever we want! It’s just about taking that first step.
As many of us know there is power in our words and power in writing down what we want. We tend to not pay attention to what we are telling ourselves day in and day out. So often, we wait for new years to start a new project or goal and we do this thinking it will be different every time. One day it will be but, that day will come once there has been a change in our hearts and mindset.
Let’s look back to the moments when we have tried to change a behaviour or start a new habit. How many times have you found yourself trying to move forward? To let go of the things that are weighing you down. You keep telling yourself you are capable, that you are attractive, confident, positive and powerful (which you are by the way)!!! Yet, you have a difficult time believing what you are telling yourself. It is beyond frustrating!! I still struggle myself. It’s challenging to believe and live in a way that shows how we want to feel on the inside when we keep using damaging words.
This can be hard to believe because we feel small, we keep questioning who we can become. We keep doubting everything good we tell ourselves.
It can be frustrating as you continue to tell yourself all these positive affirmations that you are not sure are true or if you are even living up to them. As time passes we feel like nothing has changed within.
The point is that words are more powerful than we think. If you want to have a wonderful, productive and life changing year then you have to change your mindset to produce just that. In order to make this your year you need to take control of your NARRATIVE. What are you constantly telling yourself and what are you saying out loud?
Our thoughts are connected to our emotions and emotions determine how we feel and what we do next. If we constantly keep doubting ourselves and undermining every decision we want to make then we are going to get no where!
But, if we keep telling ourselves we are confident, capable and strong then we need to do what fuels that. Don’t let yourself hanging! Finish through with the thought and move into action. Don’t let that positive thought (that positive thought is like a gold nugget!) become valueless. Use it to push yourself further. Eventually you will be riding off momentum. When we tell ourselves positive thoughts we feel good and therefore create more feel-good, positive thoughts! Use that energy to start that project or call that person or join that group. Just move into action.
“If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely…We can always replace the negative with positive.” – Betty Eadie
YOUR WORDS DETERMINE YOUR REALITY.
Over time, society has conditioned us to speak SOOOOO MUCH about our misfortunes and our problems. We tend to complain, complain and complain about everything. This is not our fault, it’s something that has turned into a habit over a long period of time. What would become our fault is if we accept it. We are capable of self-awareness. We can make small changes everyday to be living a totally different lifestyle by next year! Really look at what you are telling yourself. What words are you using? I want you to stop and look around right now. Where are you and how do you feel? Based on your answer that is where your headspace is at.
But, it doesn’t have to stay there.You don’t have to stay there.
I know so many of us struggle getting started and just don’t know where to begin, so here are 10 steps to help you shift your mindset and create the kind of headspace you want to CONQUER your New Year!
- Don’t rush the process! Time and patience is key! Yes, there is a reason this is the first step. Along the way we begin to become frustrated and feel like we are constantly falling short. I am already going to tell you, TO STOPPPP! Take it easy. Be patient with yourself. You are literally beginning to rewire your mentality. There will be some great days, some slow days and some bad days. It’s all part of your process.
- Do something fun, something you enjoy that is hands on. This will not only lift your mood but will also be a tool to get you out of your head. A positive distraction.
- Enjoy the little things. Whenever something happens that makes you feel good, be grateful for it and keep it as a memory. You can always recall these moments when you feel low.
- I know this might be silly, but it helps. Take time to stare at yourself in the mirror. I take the time to do this when I am doing my makeup or hair. You can do this before or after showering or when you are brushing your teeth. The reason I recommend this is because you not only become more familiar and comfortable with yourself and in doing this, you are no longer hiding from yourself. When we begin to feel low or are struggling our instinct is to bury these emotions–when we shouldn’t. We need them to surface so we can work through them. Plus, after some time, staring at ourselves makes it strangely difficult to take ourselves so seriously. You crack a smile or laugh because it’s just so different. Overtime you will be able to see how your face and body changes from doing this. You begin look happier and lighter.
- Change your narrative. Change the negative thoughts into positive ones. For example, if you told yourself while binge watching netflix, I should be doing something productive, I am wasting my time and amounting to nothing. This thought does nothing but make us feel worse, therefore making us watch another season. Instead say, I have really enjoyed my me-time, I feel relaxed and rested, I am now going to (fill in the blank, what would you like to do?).
- Write down 2-3 things you are happy about that happened in your day. Doing this every night helps you look at the good parts of your day. You go to bed feeling grateful and at peace no matter what complications you have to face the next day.
- Write down your goals and read them. Affirm your hopes, successes and desires. What do you want to accomplish? Use words that will propel you into action. When you are working towards something that excites you are shifting your mindset to a successful one.
- Investigate your self-doubt. When you catch your negative thoughts take the time to question them. What produced this thought? Your environment, a person, a situation? Start to determine the route of these thoughts. So many of these thoughts are fear based so if we can squander them before they do any damage then we will start to become more in control of our emotions.
- Get busy. If you find your thoughts hindering you and like you are taking several steps back, get busy! Start doing anything- get to work. This will help distract you but also have you feeling accomplished after. Which produces more positive vibezzz!!
- Hold yourself accountable. If you have a negative thought that starts to surface, don’t just bury the emotion, work through it as quickly as you can. If you find yourself feeling good and creating positive thoughts then use that energy. Don’t let it flop. Follow through with your words.
“Don’t ever diminish the power of words. Words move hearts and hearts move limbs.” -Hamza Yusuf
Choose your words carefully starting this new year. I wish you well starting your new goals. Pay attention to your narrative because it will be the biggest difference between failing or succeeding.
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Until next time,