For those of us who are controlling and feel the need to have every detail perfect, it is hard to lean back and relax. We simply do not leave things to chance. I know soooo many of us struggle with anxiety. If we don’t find the way to distress and let go then it is something that will continue to cultivate inside of us. Eventually, leading to serious problems mentally, emotionally and physically.
Anxiety is a part of life for many of us but we should be darned if we let it control our lives and determine our way of living. Giving up is not an option, letting anxiety rob us of our joy is never an option.
I had friends and acquaintances that I low-key envied because they seemed to be living a happier and more exciting life than me. I would watch them and I couldn’t wrap my head around their ‘carefree’ life. I felt like I only had 2 options– be in control and have everything working the way ‘it needed to’ or be super laid back and not care. I legitimately thought those where my 2 options. This idea of a carefree life was someone who lived as they wanted. Someone who felt no shame and wasn’t held back by anyone or anything. They lived an exciting and crazy life day in and day out. I know this was a very naive way to look at it and my perspective has definitely changed. I had several people who showed me how to enjoy my life and let go of my tight reins. I don’t think they even know they were teaching me this but the more I hung out with them, the more I learned to enjoy my life.
The idea of living a carefree life is about creating the life that you love. A life where you feel happy, at ease, and excited for gaining new experiences.
We underestimate what a few minor changes can do for us. Consistency, along with some new habits, and you can cultivate the kind of life you want. Changing habits is always challenging but not impossible. Here are the minor changes I applied into my life.
Change 1, let go of the mishaps! There will be days that do not go as planned. There is no need to sulk and dwell on it. Often, you will find just by dwelling on these problems we made them bigger than they needed to be. Before we know it we created this large problem that most likely could have been forgotten. Before deciding everything is ruined and it is all falling apart, take a moment. These small bumps are sometimes blessings in disguise. Find the silver lining, I promise there is one. With this change in perspective, you will find yourself letting go of those ‘problems’ and moving forward to far better things.
Change 2, I learned to keep my mouth shut. Whenever something was not going my way I became extremely vocal which was accompanied by a bad attitude. This small act helped me stop placing blame on others. Things will go wrong, it is a part of life and it’s not always someone’s fault. Doing this small act allows you to stop and think before saying something that could be hurtful.
Change 3, control your energy. Whenever I felt agitated I used to lash out and found myself trying to control the people around me. So, I decided to convert that energy to something I can control without interfering with other people. So, it could be to put in a kick ass workout, wash the dishes, organize the kitchen or bedroom–it can be anything that you can control and instantly see your finished result. This helps burn out that negative energy and in turn has you feeling accomplished with your finished tasks.
As you may already know, living with anxiety has us all struggling with falling asleep. I don’t know about you, but it feels like my brain turns against me and starts creating all these scary scenarios. Instead of winding down and falling asleep, I am battling these thoughts to gain control of my them. I have tried so many things and recently I have found this change has helped the most. Change 4, listen to your body. I am a night owl by nature but that does not give us an excuse to be going to bed at 12, 1 or even 2am every single night.
Whenever I start to feel dread or those negative thoughts creeping in, I pause and listen to what my body is trying to tell me. Instead of pushing aside those negative thoughts, I now take a breath and listen. I learned that my body was telling me it’s time for rest. I have found myself falling asleep easier and with less anxiety. Our bodies are strong, working machines and we really should give them more credit because they do amazing things 24/7. When we pause and listen to our bodies, we can learn so much about ourselves and what we need.
Change 5, do the activities that you want to do.
This does not give us the excuse to let loose or be irresponsible. This instead means, go watch that movie or take that trip. Go learn how to surf or take an art class. It’s doing those small things you keep talking about but never do. Instead of waiting for the perfect time, just go for it. This is teaching our brains that not everything has to be now or never, black or white. It’s about doing what you enjoy in the moment — and then enjoying that moment. This was difficult for me to learn. Before I did anything I had to stop and think about it. I would lay out the pros and cons. This really kept me from experiencing new things and living in the moment.
What has helped me, even to this day is my dream boards. I have them up on my wall reminding me to strive for the things I want to experience in my life. These photos help me not take my obstacles too seriously. They are just part of my journey.
Now, I am still a big planner and I still have the need to make my schedule. I now make sure I add the activities that I want to do. Doesn’t matter how crazy or busy my life gets, if the opportunity arises I will take the time to make new memories.
Change 6, I still struggle with this, and it is to stop caring about what people think. Do the things that you want to do. Constantly seeking approval from everyone is draining and not a good use of our time. People will always have something to say. We all think the way we live is better than the person next to us. When we all have different upbringings and ways of living. To judge and make assumptions hurts all of us. At the end of the day, you are your ‘life’. What do you want to do with it?
Put on your own blinders and screw what other people are saying. I really don’t know how to simplify it more than that.
Change 7, I am sure you know this one. Can you guess?
Read and listen to audios! This is a no brainer from me. I am pretty sure I mention this in every post. There are so many great books and I’ve written a post on which ones I recommend, so go check it out and pick one (I’ve been thinking of doing a giveaway, let me know if you think I should). Reading really does change your perspective and that could be the push you need. These stories can empower you and help you feel better about yourself and the journey you are on.
These changes allow you to live a healthier and better lifestyle. Living carefree is not about pushing yourself to the limits or having every single detail in order, it is about feeling good about yourself and the choices you make. It is about doing the things that bring you joy, peace and adventure.
Let me know in the comments what else you would like to read about.
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Until next time,