Has it ever happen to you where you are going through your day, your mood is flying high and then BAMMM! You get hit by a wandering thought that makes you question your whole life?
You start thinking about your fears and insecurities. It happens to me quite often! Especially when you have these huge dreams and aspirations the mere thought of not succeeding is frightening.
I want to do so much in my life that it stops me in my tracks. I begin to feel like whatever I am doing now is not good enough. I want to move faster towards my goals that I begin to doubt myself and slow down significantly. So, as you probably already guessed, I begin to feel frustrated–which doesn’t help me make progress.
Fears are great at disguising themselves. Sometimes we don’t think we are afraid to move forward and yet we constantly make excuses or come up with some ‘reasonable reasons’, which are actually just limiting beliefs.
These excuses and limiting beliefs hinder your momentum and perspective. If you stay in your one perspective for so long you begin to miss out on good opportunities that could be a game changer for you.
I think my fears originate from wanting to be accepted and liked. I become afraid of doing or saying something that might make people pull away from me–therefore ending up forever alone!
Trust me, I know how irrational this sounds because not everyone is going to like you. At the end of the day most of your fears are irrational. Unless you are in immediate danger–what we are really scared of is only in our heads. The only way to conquer them is to conquer ourselves first.
We need to figure out who we are and what we really, really, really desire.
Figuring out who we are is where we can build our confidence from. When we have a clear understanding of who we are and why we are working so hard, our process becomes simple and enjoyable. We are no longer fighting against ourselves and banging our head against the wall.
We all know that change doesn’t happen overnight. It often takes time to figure things out and find our ‘vision’.
These are a few of my fearful thoughts–maybe you relate to some of them.
- Fear of falling short and not achieving my goals. In a word–failure!
- Fear of wasting my time! What if I am just doing this all wrong and just heading in the wrong direction. All that time is just gone!!
- Fear of embarrassing myself–like big time.
- Fear of not making an impact on others. That I am not a helpful human being contributing to society.
- Lastly, fear of never overcoming my FEARS! Ironic I know.
We are not the only ones with these fears, we are never truly alone. There are so many people that have gone before us and conquered these fears. There is hope for every single one of us. As a side not, sorry if I gave you any new fears after reading this.
Anyway, these are the thoughts that sometimes keep me up at night or squeeze there way in while I’m doing dishes, showering or when Netflix asks me if ‘I am still watching!’
I am huge on my breathing exercises. Which is step number 1! Whenever I feel overwhelmed by my fears I make sure to do my breathing exercises for a few minutes to regulate my mindset. This is really helpful because you become aware of your body and where you are at–thus bringing you back to reality. Where you are in control of what you decide next.
Step 2, take action. It doesn’t even have to be related to your goals (although that would be better if you can bring yourself to get started right away), you can do something small like organize your office or cook. Do something productive that helps you get ahead in your personal, business, health, family or even work life. Just something small to get you moving and out of your own head.
Listening to yourself all the time is not the healthiest thing to do. The current state you are in is from the current mindset you now possess. So, talking to someone you trust or even listening to positive audios can really make a difference to push you into a forward thinking mindset.
Step number 3, Reflect. Ask yourself why you decided to think about those fears at that moment. Maybe something triggered those thoughts. If it was triggered, then how can you push through them. Asking yourself questions even if you don’t know the answers is helpful to make sense of yourself. You feel more in control and we all know when we feel confident we take more action.
Reflecting also helps you empty your mind from clutter thoughts. Those thoughts or moments we keep replaying in our head do nothing for us. As you reflect, you will be able to push away those cluttered thoughts and make room to absorb positive energy. Plus, staying focused and keeping a positive vibe will help you find answers to those questions you have.
Step number 4 is, to tell yourself at least 2 affirmations. Something uplifting and positive. Repeat them as often as you need to, to help you believe them or get you out of the funk you are feeling. Sometimes, when I feel really stuck, I go to my bathroom, look in the mirror and tell myself 2 affirmations. About 90% of the time, I smile at myself because I feel silly! This also helps me feel hopeful because I am caring about myself enough to push through my fears .
As Marie Forleo said, ‘it is important to identify and name your fears. That way you can work through them’ (she said something along those lines). So, don’t ever give up! You may have moments where you speed up or slow down–but don’t ever ever give up on yourself. Drag yourself if you need to. If you truly want something, if your goal is worth it to you, then you drag your little butt to the finish line! Why? Because we are worth it, our dreams are worth it.
Stay focused and take control of those fears!
Trust me, I know it’s not always easy. Actually it’s never easy. But, that is no excuse. Creating the life we want should be scary, but it should also be exciting, challenging and a wonderful journey.
We have these fears for a reason, they are here to teach us lessons and help us become stronger in some areas of our lives. Fears are always going to be a part of life because with each conquered fear a new one appears!
Good news though!! We become better and better at conquering fears and moving forward.
When we have hope and belief in our capabilities then we truly can do anything.
So, keep on dreaming and envisioning the life you want.
Don’t forget to check out my IG to see what I am up to and for some daily inspiration.
Until next time,