For the Second Time

Yes, I took a break. A long one. At first, I thought taking a break made me look weak and like I had no sense of direction. As time went by all my negative emotions started to fade away. During that time, I knew, as long as I felt fear and shame, I was not ready to begin blogging again. Along the way, I lost the motivations behind why I started to blog. I became laser-focused on making money and building my following–feeling like all my value came from that. It was getting me nowhere. Instead of finding peace in my writing I began to feel stressed and saw writing as something that I needed to do, instead of something I wanted to do. I felt like I needed to come up with content you all would like, instead of coming up with content that came from my heart.
If you go to the last piece I posted, “How to Encourage Change in Your Life,” I wrote about my anxiety and personal problems. When I wrote that post, I thought I was ready to keep posting. As it turns out, I wasn’t and I had to be okay with that. I had to continue my healing and evaluate everything all over again. Now, I feel ready and empowered to face any situation full on. I feel like I have taken back control of my life.
I’m not sure about you but I am very hard on myself. I feel the need to be strong and in control at all times. I was holding onto this mentality of showing no weaknesses, but that was only hurting myself. I was hiding who I was from others and I’ve decided that I want to be an open book. Literally! I want to be genuinely helpful and real. My posts are going to be based on my personal journals. I want to show you my journey as I build my businesses and my life. I am going to be vulnerable and show you not only the pretty, but the boring, the ugly, and so on. I want to show you that not everything is as it seems. All those people who seem to have their life together also had their own struggles and moments of hopelessness. Most of the time we don’t hear about these struggles until after they have accomplished their goals. I want to show you all of that. I want to show you that we don’t need to be terrified of the unknown. We can lift ourselves up and allow ourselves to be happy.
Positively Confident doesn’t mean you are happy all the time. Instead, a positively confident person is someone who has decided to push forward despite the bad days. Someone who finds inner-strength and beauty in their journey. Whether or not your thoughts are negative, they are not something to be ashamed of–they are to be learned from.
Our thoughts are important tools and now my thoughts are going to be exposed to you. I wish to share my stories in the hopes that you won’t feel alone and that you will stop thinking that something is wrong with you. Now, my thoughts may not always be pretty, and I know you might not always agree with me, but my hopes are that you will learn from your own thoughts and allow yourself to get real. I hope you will break free from whatever is keeping you from seeing yourself the way you want. Or you can just judge me. Whatever works for you my peeps.
Until next time.
Love, Evelyn.

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